Mentor Stories
Next Entries »The Benefits of Mentoring - from the Mentor’s Point of View
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
I heard a woman talk about her experiences as a SMART (Start Making A Reader Today) last night. Her comments gave me a new perspective on mentoring. She is studying Spanish these days, developing her own language and literacy in a second language. To complete her course requirements she is expected to do a service project in the community.
Because she loves “reading, kids and practicing Spanish,” her choice to become a SMART volunteer at a bilingual school was a natural. The speaker “loves what she is doing” because she has a strong belief in the importance of literacy, in any language. She believes that the love of reading is a key to positive school experiences for every child.
What was fun for me was the chance to hear her talk about all the benefits that SHE is getting from her volunteer work. She is enjoying the opportunity to learn about some of the schools outside of her neighborhood, and see firsthand the work they are doing to make kids feel comfortable and able to learn. She also enjoys the chance to discover new books in Spanish, meet and spend time with kids, and most of all, practice speaking Spanish with native speakers (savvy first graders), who are helping HER build her skills too.
If you are a mentor or volunteer, please share some of the things you get from the experience.
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my motivation
By Kevin Truong | Thursday, April 10th, 2008
*one night in 1981 my mom got in a fishing boat.
it was rickety i’m sure. i imagine the wood was rotting, the paint was flaking, patterns were left as the coating began to peel, and chip, and crack. the swelter of the south east asian heat. by any standards, not a safe vessel. it had a motor, but definitely not anything any rational minded person would feel safe using for a voyage across the south china sea. but, funny thing, when you’ve spent the day hiding in tall grasses, waiting for the night, the dark, about to flee a country–a life, the only life you’ve ever known–rationality tends to be trumped by fear, fear by desperation, and desperation by the only way to make it through it all–hope.
so my mom, with two young daughters and pregnant with me, got in that fishing boat with a couple dozen other refugees and headed out into the water. headed out towards that hope.
* and i’m thinking at that moment, i really didn’t have a care in the world. i was twenty-four years old, about to move to new orleans, spending a couple june weeks on a cadamaran sailing waters off the coast of hawaii, it’s pretty nice to have the luxury of believing you can do anything you want in life. i looked over across the water, and all i could see was ocean. nothing but ocean. “life’s pretty amazing,” i thought.
* but all she could see was ocean. nothing but ocean. a week and a half in a rickety fishing boat, the wood rotting, the paint flaking, patterns being made as the coating continued to peel, and chip, and crack, and all she could see was ocean. terrifying. terriying when you’ve been on that boat for a week in a half. drifting somewhere in the water between vietnam and the philippines, or maylasia. too sick to eat. two young daughters begging for food. not that there was anything to give them. pirates stole all the rice and the motor off the boat. and i’m not talking the friendly, jack sparrow, pirates of the carribbean type of pirates.
*and to be quite honest, i was a little bummed. sitting on the paramount studio back-lot, somewhere between the beaches of malibu and the theatres of sunset blvd, and for some reason i missed that casting call for pirates of the caribbean 3. the guy next to me–both of us extras for the new christopher walken flick–he got casted for it. he got to see keira knightley. and i missed the chance. “man that sucks,” i was thinking, ”that would have been a great opportunity and i missed it.”
*an opportunity. and to be sure, she was beginning to question whether it was all worth the risk. the opportunity to immigrate to america–was it worth it, to be drifting somewhere in the water between vietnam and the philippines, or maylasia, for the better part of two weeks. there had to be doubts. that hope had to have been beginning to peel, and chip, and crack. she looked out. and all she could see was ocean. nothing but ocean. and then land. she could see land and she began to cry.
***
that’s the story of my mother. inter-sliced with stories from my own life. a contrasts in the extreme danger my mother took in immigrating to america, and the luxuries that have been afforded to me because of that risk. i was born not too soon after she fled vietnam, after she got in that rickety fishing boat. in a refugee camp in malaysia, august 3rd, 1982. lived there for only eight months, before spending a childhood growing up around the mud puddles and fir trees of oregon, and then a young adulthood ‘exploring’ zipcodes outside 97236. and having been fortunate enough to have been raised in this country, for almost my entire life, it’s easy for me to mistake my circumstance as something that just is–something that just happened, not meriting much recognition because it’s just been a given that i really do believe i can accomplish anything i want in life.
but nothing just is. my life–the opportunities i have been given–every door that has been opened for me and every window cracked, are things that have been fought for. it’s all a testament to my mother, a woman who went through so much just to get me to this country, to give me opportunities, to save me from the desperation and fear she felt in a life she once had.
and that’s what motivates me. the conscious acknowledgement of every opportunity that has been given to me, not just by mother, but by everyone in my life who has ever contributed in some way to the person i’ve become. how my life is and how my life could have been, and most importantly, how my life can be. i’ve made a commitment to make good on all the fortunes i’ve been given and do my best to not just to take, but to give as well. because i know that to do otherwise would in many ways be a spit in the face of everyone who’s ever took the effort to love, care, and support me in the hopes of what can be.
if my mom can get in a rickety fishing boat, i can take some risks too. and i will 
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Ways to Involve Parents and Family Members
By Kevin Truong | Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
I feel I am in a unique position as a Site Coordinator for a homework club, in that I am able to work both in the the children’s classrooms and in a setting very close to their homes. In this role, I hopefully am able to help foster that link between the children’s school environment and their home environment, so that their is a continuum of inquiry from their classroom to their living room.
By working with the children and their teachers in the classroom, I am able to learn not only the specific lessons the students are learning, but also areas where individual students could use the most help.
Involving parents is the next step, and ways I can do that are-
-family nights - events where parents and families are invited to participate in an activity with their child. Game nights, potlucks, informational sessions.
-outreach - going out into the communities, to the children’s homes and doing outreach with the parents. Establishing, building on, and maintaining those relationships. It’s important for me to let the families know that I am making an effort to be a part of their community. There is a certain level of trust I’m trying to build. Since many of the families I work with speak English as a second language, my efforts may include passing along a simple note to them written in one of the native languages–Russian, Romanian, Somalian–that says, “Hi, I’m Kevin. I work in the homework club with your children..” As mentioned before, I think it is very important to show that efforts are being made on my part.
Topics: Family Involvement, How to Help, Mentor Stories | No Comments »
Chalkboard Project - Giving away 5 Making Connections scholarships
By Lydia Brooks | Thursday, March 27th, 2008
If you or someone you know would like free access to Making Connections send your story about why mentoring is important to you to The Chalkboard Project, info@chalkboardproject.org
The first 5 people to send in their stories will be given scholarships to Making Connections!
Topics: Mentor Stories, Things to do | No Comments »
Youth Today Newspaper
By Lydia Brooks | Monday, March 24th, 2008
Youth Today Newspaper is a publication geared toward people doing youth work. They also have a great support website.http://youthtoday.org
Topics: Culturally Competent, Mentor Stories, Recommended reading, Resources for Mentor | No Comments »
Sometimes a Mentor Needs a Mentor too!
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Monday, March 10th, 2008
I recently attended a basic mentor training for people who volunteer to work with kids. It was an interesting evening that brought home the point that whether we teach, volunteer, coach or mentor, the key to the work is not the skills we teach, but the relationships we make. And this can be very challenging.
I left the training thinking that in spite of my education, and my broad and varied experience working with kids, I wish I had had the chance to learn more about how to connect with kids, and how to handle the impact of their lives and behavior on my own emotions.
I have worked with kids all my life, starting as a pre-teen babysitter and moving on to day camp counselor, and then a summer camp counselor. I ran an after school arts and crafts program at the Y. I worked one-on-one with a very ill child (and his six siblings). I fulfilled my educational psychology requirements by volunteering with children in the psychiatric ward of a large NYC hospital.
After college, I spent several years doing recreation and occupational therapy in an adolescent psychiatric hospital. I’ve been a TAG teacher, an Olympics of the Mind coach, a mother helper, an artist in the schools; I’ve raised two children, and been part of the lives of numerous friends, scouts, classmates and neighbors.
In my many kid related jobs, I received lots of training, all of it related to research, skills and responsibilities of my job. None, as far as I can remember, was about relating to the kids. Now, when I look back, what stands out the most in my memory was not the days when everything went well, when the art projects got done, when all the kids were happy to play volleyball or write and share poetry, or hike all day. What I remember are the times when things went wrong, and I was unsure about the right thing to do, and where to turn for help.
Those of us who mentor, teach or work with kids make a commitment to do the best possible job we can. We sign up because we want to help kids, to teach them, to enrich their lives, to make the world better. We bring our skills, talents, and good intentions. But in spite of this, and even in the most ideal circumstances, things can (and do) go wrong. I was often unprepared to deal with the ‘surprise events’ that occurred; the moments that were not covered by my job description or training.
Though I was a whiz at creating a work of art out of mismatched tempera paints, dried out brushes, oatmeal boxes and scraps of wood, I had no idea what I supposed to do when a an angry parent arrived in the room yelling … at the kid, or at me.
Though I could organize games, or brainstorm seventeen things to do with a lemon and a paperclip, how could I best help the child who cried to me because her mother had “bumps in her breast?” What was the protocol to deal with a suicide threat written into a short story, or the time a kid ran away from a group outing?
No one ever taught me how to encourage a kid to talk, or get a reluctant kid to join a game. How was I to make a new kid feel welcome, or help a kid fit in, or defuse a fight between two kids who were bigger than me?
In each of these experiences, I did the best I could. My results cover the spectrum from inspiration to “I could have done better.”
The mentor training made me realize that my job might have been easier and my results better if I had had a mentor – someone who talked to me about the challenges I faced when I chose to work with kids. Someone who had ideas, and knowledge and experiences that would have prepared me before I had to react, not after.
So these are my questions:
- What kinds of mentor training do you know about?
- If you were training someone to be a mentor, what is the most important thing you would share?
- Were you taught how to mentor? How, where? What did you learn?
- What do you wish you had learned?
Please use this blog to share your thoughts.
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