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One-way relationships- reflection
By Danielle Miles | April 22, 2009
When I was in high school, I dated this boy from three years. We ‘broke up’ my Senior year, and it was really hard for me to figure out how to deal with the intense emotions- the strong feeling of loss and identity confusion- that arose. I didn’t have the skills (or resources) to know how to cope with what I was feeling. I lost a lot of weight, was having a hard time getting any sleep at night, and was becoming less engaged in my classes. My grades were starting to fall.
My Political Science teacher one day called me up to his desk. He was an older guy, in his late 60’s, with thick glasses. When I sat down across from him at his desk, he looked truly concerned, and I saw a human side of him I had never seen. He asked me if I was doing alright. I told him I was having some difficulty in my personal life, but that it was okay. He asked me a few questions- such as if I was safe at home, if I was getting enough food, etc. I admitted that I hadn’t had an appetite and had been having difficulty sleeping. We talked for a while, and he explained how often, when people feel a loss of control over situations in their life, they will attempt to exert extra control other areas of their lives- in this case, eating. I listened to his advice and I wasn’t sure if I had been purposely denying myself food or if I had just lost my desire to eat, but what mattered here was not that he had the right advice for me. What mattered was that he had showed concern for my well being, not just my classroom performance.
A few days later, my dad mentioned that my teacher had called home, saying he had been concerned about me, that I had “lost some of my feistiness” in his class. This surprised me because I had been pretty sassy to that teacher for as long as I had known him, yet it had not stopped him from caring about my life and well being.
I have never exactly told him that I appreciated his concern for me during that confusing time; but after that event, we had a deeper connection and would talk after class frequently.
Topics: Uncategorized |
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
When I was really young- from around three to eight, I had a teacher in my child care who stands out in my mind. His name is Charlie, and he always paid attention to me and made me feel like I was a good kid. (I was a lot to handle back then, having a bit of drama in my life growing up and I tended to act out a lot). I know it was hard for many teachers to help me or even try and understand me. Charlie looked out for me and seemed to understand that I was a good kid, but just had issues. It wasn’t so much what he said, it was how he treated me… making me feel special.
Charlie’s definitely the type of guy who probably had a good impact on many kids, and kids love him! I would go back to this day care sometimes to say hello. It wasn’ far from where I lived as a teenager and I many of the teachers played a big role in my life as a kid. To be able and pop my head in and tell them how much their care meant to me was great. I was happy I could go back and tell them how great they were, and Charlie probably knew he was my favorite!