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Thank you to Making Connections student Shelly, for allowing me to post this comment from our class discussion about the importance of a positive attitude when working to build relationships with (challenging and challenged) kids.

I am currently caring for a young boy with whom I have begun to build a solid relationship. He is a very loving child and for the most part well behaved. The problem both his teachers and I (his foster parent) are encountering is that he has an anger control problem. On the surface he does not appear angry but when he is teased or provoked in any way by other children his immediate reaction is to use physical attack to express his emotions of irritation. His teachers and I have focused on teaching him cognitive behavioral skills to help him re-train myself to react differently. We have been working with him for six months now and he is like a new child. The last three months there has been not one incident of anger at school or at home.

When we first began that journey there were days I thought to myself that I could not handle this boy and wondered if I could even help him. In those times I found it helpful to remind myself of even the smallest of victories in this boy’s progress. These attitudes and strategies helped me.

Positive Progress Points to View

• Counting the days, moments, or interactions between episodes helps to visually see the progress.

• Noticing and responding to non-verbal and verbal signals from the child letting you know hisneeds are fulfilled, for example, he feels safe, comfortable and accepted.

• Talking with others who have been in or are in the same or similar situations with children allows you to see that progress is possible and you’re not the only one dealing with such problems.

• Talk with teachers, daycare providers, and family about the child’s progress.  

Topics: Creating a Positive, How to Help, Relationship Strategy |

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