Archive for May, 2008
How to make a difference
By Lisa Pfister | Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
Shannon was new to our school this year. She had attended her previous school for grades K-4th. Her two teachers described her as sometimes out-going, and sometimes moody. They saw her as a student with a “chip on her shoulder”. Shannon was often in my office due to problems with her peers. She would never “tell” on her friends, and would take the blame for any offense. She would always tell me, “I’m not ratting my friends out.” I contacted the school counselor of her previous school. The counselor said they also saw the same behaviors and worked hard on helping Shannon overcome these behaviors. They saw her as a student with low self-esteem and looked for ways that she could be successful in their school.
I had a break through with Shannon when she was once again sent to my office due to problems with her peers. She came with a very defiant attitude, her body was stiff and angry, and she did not want to talk. I started talking to her very softly and gently. I told her that it must be really hard to come to a new school and have to make new friends all over again. I told her that I wondered why she chose these specific students to be her “friends “. I let her know that by choosing friends that make poor choices she was putting herself in a difficult position, and didn’t she think she deserved better? Or, does she believe that if she doesn’t “hang out” with these students then she would not have any friends at all? By this time Shannon was tearing up. Shannon then told me, “It’s better to have bad friends then no friends at all.” This let me know that Shannon does not think very highly of herself and takes whatever comes her way. I let Shannon know that we could work together to help her find friends that would appreciate who she is. I even let her know that if she was out on recess with her “friends” , and they were making poor choices, then she could come to my office and I would help her find other outlets to pursue in school. I let her know that we have a wonderful kindergarten teacher who would like her help in her class. Shannon told me she felt she was a poor student and couldn’t help others. I let her know that kinders love when the big kids come to their classes to help out and that she could also read with them. I also told her about a girls group that I run at school. It is for girls who want to form new and more appropriate friendships with other girls their age. Shannon told me she would think about this and get back to me.
A week later, Shannon came in from recess and asked if she could still volunteer in the kindergarten class. I told her that this job was still open if she wanted it. She also wanted to join the girls group. I talked with Shannon’s teachers, and the kindergarten teacher to set up arrangements for her to volunteer. Shannon goes three times a week, during her lunch recess, to work with the kindergarten students. This has been happening for three months now. The teacher said that at first Shannon was very untrusting of the teacher, but as she got to know her, became quite a joy to work with. Shannon has also befriended two girls from the girls group and “hangs out” with them outside of school. I have also spoken with her two teachers about setting up an evaluation for a possible learning disability. I learned that Shannon has great difficulty in reading and articulating her thoughts. Her prior school evaluated her for these three years ago and she almost qualified. We feel that if we test her first thing in the fall that she will most likely qualify. Shannon’s mom has also been in the loop of all decisions made regarding her daughter. Mom says she has noticed positive changes in her daughter. She says she laughs more and does not get as “difficult” as in the past.
One year down, one more to go!
Topics: Relationship Strategy, Resources for Teacher | No Comments »
How to Make A Difference for Kids
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
“To improve the golden moment of opportunity, and catch the good that is within our reach, is the great art of life.”
- Samuel Johnson
Because I believe wholeheartledly in the idea that kids will flourish in an atmosphere where we “catch them doing something right,” I am going to start adding information to this blog that I think will provide ideas and inspiration that anyone can use to improve relationships with kids.
The point is, of course, that kids who feel comfortable and accepted in school will not only want to stay there, but are likely to do better and learn more.
So, here are some simple ways to convey to your kids, that your classroom, mentor program, home or … is a place where they are safe, seen, valued and appreciated.
- Ask lots of questions, encourage thinking, and the expression of ideas and opinions. Accept all answers.
- Encourage kids (encourage everybody) to fall in love with something (develop a passionate interest.)
- Show your kids that you love to learn.
- Help kids feel confident and safe. Consider ways to ban humiliating and idea crushing statements from classroom and school vocabulary. (More about this in a separate blog to come.)
- Focus on individual kids so that you know what each one is doing and interested in.
- Convey, through speech and behavior that it is important to you that this kid succeeds.
- Remind kids that it most important that they like themselves.
- Never allow a kids to “lose face.”
- Smile.
Topics: Creating a Positive | No Comments »
The Benefits of Mentoring - from the Mentor’s Point of View
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
I heard a woman talk about her experiences as a SMART (Start Making A Reader Today) last night. Her comments gave me a new perspective on mentoring. She is studying Spanish these days, developing her own language and literacy in a second language. To complete her course requirements she is expected to do a service project in the community.
Because she loves “reading, kids and practicing Spanish,” her choice to become a SMART volunteer at a bilingual school was a natural. The speaker “loves what she is doing” because she has a strong belief in the importance of literacy, in any language. She believes that the love of reading is a key to positive school experiences for every child.
What was fun for me was the chance to hear her talk about all the benefits that SHE is getting from her volunteer work. She is enjoying the opportunity to learn about some of the schools outside of her neighborhood, and see firsthand the work they are doing to make kids feel comfortable and able to learn. She also enjoys the chance to discover new books in Spanish, meet and spend time with kids, and most of all, practice speaking Spanish with native speakers (savvy first graders), who are helping HER build her skills too.
If you are a mentor or volunteer, please share some of the things you get from the experience.
Topics: Mentor Stories | No Comments »
Thinking about Quality Time with Kids: Ideas for Mentors (Teachers and Parents Too)
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
Quality time: Time spent with family or friends, time that is important, special, productive or profitable. Spending quality time means paying full and undivided attention to the person/matter at hand. Though the chance to enjoy quality time is often limited, what is most is important is the value attached to the events or interactions which occur.
There is no question that teachers, mentors and parents have busy schedules. Some of us who do have time to spend with kids are limited in the amount of time we can spend together. No matter what your relationship with your “significant kid” one thing is for sure; those of us who spend time with kids want to make the most of it. But, this can be a challenge.
For many people, quality time equals educational experiences that result in higher school achievement, so, therefore, quality time often means reading books, writing stories, doing math puzzles, etc. Of course, these are all great ways to use time, but, learning can happen by doing things that do not seem connected to developing academic skills.
Learning is thinking – and one aspect of thinking is discovering how knowledge learned in the classroom fits in the “real world” – into the everyday things we do in the kitchen, the garden, the grocery, the park, the bank and the car.
Research tells us that it’s not necessarily what you do with a kid that stimulates learning and thinking, but how you do it. With this in mind, here is one of my favorite strategies for encouraging kids to think.
Use your kids’ questions as opportunities to encourage thinking. For example, if a kid asks “why is the sky blue,” you have some options. You can give a scientific answer, or shrug and say “I don’t know.” Or you can respond with a question of your own: “Why do you think the sky is blue?” Responding to an open ended question in this way (respectfully) can lead to conversation and real thinking – perhaps about the many colors we actually see in the sky, about clouds, about light and reflections, the sea, the trees and more. Engaging in conversation about all of these ideas allows your kid to form and express ideas. Since this is an open ended question, there are really no wrong answers, and, with no pressure to find the “right’ response, you may be surprised to discover just how much your kid knows, as well as how he thinks.
Responding to a question with “what do you think, how would you do that, how can we find out, or why do you think that happened?” is like opening a door to possibilities, imagination, thoughts, and sometimes silliness and laughter. It’s a great way to make connections – between the two of you, and between thinking and “real life.”
Topics: Relationship Strategy, Quality Time, Things to do | No Comments »
Multicultural Resources: When you need something to read
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
Teachers, SMART volunteers, parents and mentors often ask me “what’s a good book to read with my kids?” Now, I not only have a great list of books to add to my recommendations, but a lovely magazine too.
The magazine is Skipping Stones, an International Multicultural publication for youth that “encourages communication, cooperation, creativity and celebration of cultural and environmental richness.” Founded in 1988, Skipping Stones is award-winning resource in multicultural education, designed to provide “a playful forum for sharing ideas and experiences among youth from different countries and cultures.”
Each issue contains stories, articles and photos from all over the world, as well as book reviews, news, and a guide for parents and teachers. Non-English writings are accompanied by English translations to encourage the learning of other languages.
Skipping Stones publishes bimonthly during the school year. Click here for subscription information.
In addition, every year, Skipping Stones recognizes exceptional books and teaching resources that “encourage an understanding of the world’s diverse cultures, as well as nature and ecological richness. The selection promotes cooperation, nonviolence, respect for differing viewpoints, and close relationships in human societies.”
So, looking for something to read this summer? Start with the 2008 Skipping Stones Honor Awards – a list of 26 books for different ages, reading levels and interests. Click here for the 2008 winners list.
To view past lists of recommended books click here.
One more thing, Skipping Stones invites submissions from young writers. Click here to learn more about their entry guidelines for Youth Honor Awards.
WHAT ARE YOU READING WITH YOUR KIDS? Please share your recommendations for books and publications that you like. Tell us why?
Topics: Recommended reading, Resources for Teacher, Culturally Competent, Resources for Mentor | No Comments »
National Mentoring Center Resources
By Michael Garringer | Monday, May 19th, 2008
Hello to everyone on the Making Connections blog… Tobi suggested that I take a minute to let all of you know about some of the great resources available to you from the National Mentoring Center, located in Portland, OR.
The NMC is a federally-funded project that provides training and technical assistance to youth mentoring programs across the country. Most of our materials are written for program coordinators and other staff members, but we do have some resources that are written for mentors and others working directly with youth.
We have a wealth of free downloadable publications on our site, everything from training guides and handbooks for new mentors to evaluation tools and sustainability planning workbooks. You can view these resources here:
http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring/nmc_pubs.php.
We also have a lending library of materials for those running programs or working directly with youth. Lots of great resources on youth development, program models, and training curriculum for volunteers. You can borrow materials via the interlibrary loan services of your local public library (or university library if you have access to one). You can search the collection online here:
http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring/library.php.
We also have a great selection of links to other mentoring resources and toolkits, so for any of you who are working in mentoring or tutoring programs, feel free to poke around the rest of the website at:
http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring/index.php
If you have any questions about our services or resources, you can contact me at the numbers/addresses below.
Michael Garringer
Resource Advisor/Web Designer
National Mentoring Center
101 S.W. Main Street, suite 500
Portland, OR 97204
503.275.9647
www.nwrel.org/mentoring
garringm@nwrel.org
Topics: Recommended reading, Resources for Mentor | No Comments »
15 Ways to Help Kids Build a Positive Self Image (and Increase Student Achievement as a Side Benefit)
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Friday, May 16th, 2008
Whether in a classroom, an afterschool program, summer camp, or at home, creating an atmosphere in which everyone feels good about themselves will very likely result in a place where learning and good relationships can flourish.
These great ideas for building positive self image (adapted from Building Self Concept in the Classroom, an article by Pat Huggins, Northwest Clearinghouse for Gifted Education) will work as well with parents and community members, as they do with all of the kids in your classroom or program. Try them, and then, please share your thoughts and the responses you see from your kids and their families.
- Teach well. There is nothing more important for anyone, than believing and experiencing that he is able to learn.
- Help kids find an area that has challenge for them; one in which they can find success. Self-confidence is very much the result of having met and handled a series of challenging situations.
- Relate kids’ successes to a more central belief; i.e., academic ability. If a kid can see herself as capable of learning, or creating, or thinking well, you reinforce this central belief.
- Demonstrate caring and acceptance for all kids. The most important way we can show our interest is by truly listening.
- Use special notes, awards, certificates, etc., to make kids feel special. There are few self-concept building strategies more potent than taking the time to write a note to tell someone that you noticed a particularly good behavior, a sincere effort, a job well done, or that you simply just plain like him. Tape the note to his desk, or her notebook, and watch the expression when it is discovered.
- Give kids some responsibility. This can be a very effective way to demonstrate trust in the kid’s ability to handle the job.
- Remind kids to stop engaging in self-deprecation and start engaging in self-appreciation. Teaching kids to speak positively of themselves and others will go a long way toward improving self-concept.
- Teach kids to use inner speech to build their own self-esteem. Help them reverse the habit of negatively evaluating themselves and encourage them to believe in their inner worth.
- Make sure that kids understand that is acceptable to make mistakes, and to fail. The important thing is to try again.
- Teach kids not to allow put-downs and criticism to erode their self-esteem.
- Teach kids to nurture and support one another by increasing positive interactions. Encourage the development of a supportive community – a place where people are kind, work hard, and cooperate.
- Help kids learn to visualize themselves as self-confident and successful in the things that are important to them, and to affirm to themselves that images represent plausible goals.
- Create an environment where kids learn to accept and express their feelings openly, without fear of criticism or rejection. Allowing people to own personal feelings and reactions can have a powerful impact on self-esteem.
- Help parents and family members understand the tremendous impact they have on their child’s self-concept. Take all opportunities (at conferences, through your communications, etc.) to make parents aware of the direct relationship between self-concept and achievement.
- MODEL: The best way to teach kids to feel good about themselves is to provide a positive role model. Keep in mind that building self esteem is a tough job. Accept the times when you feel like you’ve failed, and forgive yourself – again and again.
Topics: Creating a Positive, How to Help | No Comments »
Things to Do: Three Activities to Build Self-Esteem
By Tobi Kibel Piatek | Friday, May 16th, 2008
Here are three ideas for things to do that will make it easier to create an atmosphere where kids feel comfortable, cared about, noticed and free to be themselves. These ideas will not only foster self-esteem and strengthen relationships with peers; they will also encourage creativity, cooperation, and fun.
Note: These ideas are especially relevant to Lesson 8 in the course, which focuses on Peer relationships.
Create a Mural: Tape a long sheet of butcher (or other) paper to a wall. Provide a variety of art materials (crayons, pens, tempera, pens, pastels, magazines to cut apart, old photos, old cards, scissors, glue, fabrics etc.) Have kids create a mural that depicts things they have in common, and things they do which are uniquely their own. This can include hobbies, pets, sports, family activities, travel, adventures, work, etc.) This mural offers opportunities for kids to use their talents learn about each other’s interests, cultures and families, and encourage cooperation and conversation.
All the News that Fits, We Print: Creating a class or project wide newspaper or eNews is a great way to provide an opportunity for kids to see their names and accomplishments in print. It also provides kids with ways to use a spectrum of abilities and tools. The newspaper can include articles and stories. It can feature kids’ achievements, histories, adventures, lists of favorites, etc. It can also include recognition for services and helping, accomplishments, and activities. One of the best aspects of this project is that newspaper production involves so many jobs. Each one is an opportunity to use a talent, learn a skill, or discover a new interest.
As kids work together to choose a name for their paper, decide on article ideas, conduct interviews, write and edit stories, take photos, create illustrations (or ads, or comics), put the news together (whether on paper or a computer screen), and share their product, everyone has lots of chances to work cooperatively, make new friends, and see a real life application for skills they learn in school. TIP: This is also a great opportunity to invite community members who work in media, or photography, to visit your kids and share what they know and do.
Teaching: Ask each kid to list a skill that he or she feels confident enough to teach another person. This may be a sport, a hobby, a song, a dish to cook, a joke, a dance, etc. Also, create a student list of things they would like to learn if someone in their group or class had the skill to teach them.
Topics: Creating a Positive, Resources for Teacher, Things to do, Resources for Mentor | No Comments »