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Archive for March, 2008

I recently attended a basic mentor training for people who volunteer to work with kids. It was an interesting evening that brought home the point that whether we teach, volunteer, coach or mentor, the key to the work is not the skills we teach, but the relationships we make. And this can be very challenging.

I left the training thinking that in spite of my education, and my broad and varied experience working with kids, I wish I had had the chance to learn more about how to connect with kids, and how to handle the impact of their lives and behavior on my own emotions.

I have worked with kids all my life, starting as a pre-teen babysitter and moving on to day camp counselor, and then a summer camp counselor. I ran an after school arts and crafts program at the Y. I worked one-on-one with a very ill child (and his six siblings). I fulfilled my educational psychology requirements by volunteering with children in the psychiatric ward of a large NYC hospital.

After college, I spent several years doing recreation and occupational therapy in an adolescent psychiatric hospital. I’ve been a TAG teacher, an Olympics of the Mind coach, a mother helper, an artist in the schools; I’ve raised two children, and been part of the lives of numerous friends, scouts, classmates and neighbors.

In my many kid related jobs, I received lots of training, all of it related to research, skills and responsibilities of my job. None, as far as I can remember, was about relating to the kids. Now, when I look back, what stands out the most in my memory was not the days when everything went well, when the art projects got done, when all the kids were happy to play volleyball or write and share poetry, or hike all day. What I remember are the times when things went wrong, and I was unsure about the right thing to do, and where to turn for help.

Those of us who mentor, teach or work with kids make a commitment to do the best possible job we can. We sign up because we want to help kids, to teach them, to enrich their lives, to make the world better. We bring our skills, talents, and good intentions. But in spite of this, and even in the most ideal circumstances, things can (and do) go wrong. I was often unprepared to deal with the ‘surprise events’ that occurred; the moments that were not covered by my job description or training.

Though I was a whiz at creating a work of art out of mismatched tempera paints, dried out brushes, oatmeal boxes and scraps of wood, I had no idea what I supposed to do when a an angry parent arrived in the room yelling … at the kid, or at me.

Though I could organize games, or brainstorm seventeen things to do with a lemon and a paperclip, how could I best help the child who cried to me because her mother had “bumps in her breast?” What was the protocol to deal with a suicide threat written into a short story, or the time a kid ran away from a group outing?

No one ever taught me how to encourage a kid to talk, or get a reluctant kid to join a game. How was I to make a new kid feel welcome, or help a kid fit in, or defuse a fight between two kids who were bigger than me?

In each of these experiences, I did the best I could. My results cover the spectrum from inspiration to “I could have done better.” 

The mentor training made me realize that my job might have been easier and my results better if I had had a mentor – someone who talked to me about the challenges I faced when I chose to work with kids. Someone who had ideas, and knowledge and experiences that would have prepared me before I had to react, not after.

So these are my questions:
 - What kinds of mentor training do you know about?
- If you were training someone to be a mentor, what is the most important thing you would share?
- Were you taught how to mentor? How, where? What did you learn?
- What do you wish you had learned?
Please use this blog to share your thoughts.

Topics: Mentor Stories | No Comments »

When I was writing my journal about the moments I enjoyed in school, memories came to mind of teachers telling jokes, or getting excited at the overhead projector, or showing us something from their personal life/extending themselves. Then it hit me, the best moments are when teachers are being natural with children and showing students that they love teaching. Those are the times when kids love learning, because they feel like they can bring something to the life of the teacher; they become part of a team between teacher and student. A team that works together in a reciprocal relationship.

I thought I would share this reflection as it relates to how educators, mentors, and parents (in my opinion), make the greatest impact on kids. If we show them that we love to work with them, they will attach that love to their self identity and begin to appreciate themselves as well.

Anna Christenson
AmeriCorps Member YWCA LearnLinks

Topics: Quality Time | No Comments »

I attended an Info Session at Mentor Portland last night. Mentor Portland http://www.mentorportland.org/becomeamentor.html is the mentoring arm of Boys and Girls Aid (www.boysandgirlsaid.org). I was surprised and impressed (depressed?) to find out that this organization has been meeting the needs of vulnerable children for 122 years!

Elaine Monterastelli, Mentor Portland Outreach Coordinator, talked to about a dozen potential mentors. They attended the meeting to learn about what it takes to become a mentor. We all came away with a pretty clear picture of what is involved. Go to the website to find out more. http://www.mentorportland.org/becomeamentor.html

I’ve always wondered how kids come to organizations like Mentor Portland to receive services. Now I know. Vulnerable kids, (this organization does not use the term “at-risk,”) kids in transition, kids in the foster system, kids with incarcerated parents, and some who simply need a stable friend, are referred to the agency by Department of Human Services Child Welfare case workers. They are kids who can benefit by and be an active part of a strong and consistent relationship.
One of the frequently asked questions in the room last night was … what exactly is a mentor? Not only did Elaine define what a mentor is, but she also made it clear what a mentor is NOT. I thought that her answers are worth sharing.

A mentor is a caring, consistent, non-judgmental, supportive adult; someone who can be trusted. Most important, a mentor is a friend, someone to play with, talk with, share experiences and adventures with. A mentor is NOT meant to serve as a parent, therapist, counselor or rescuer in this relationship.

Mentor Portland holds info sessions every month. If your are considering becoming a mentor, would like to learn more about this organization, or register for an info session, email mentor@boysandgirlsaid.org, or call Elaine Monterastelli at 503.542.2312

Topics: Resources for Mentor | No Comments »

I am currently recruiting mentors for Open Meadow’s Project ESTEEM (Empowering Students Through Educational Employment Mentorships). It begins in February and ends the first week of June. The time commitment is 4 hours a month – two hours on two Monday afternoons.

Below is some information about Open Meadow Schools and the mentoring program. Thanks in advance for sharing this information with people who you know would be good mentor candidates and interested in volunteering.

Open Meadow Alternative Schools:

Open Meadow is a private, non-profit, educational organization located in North Portland, Oregon. In 2007, Open Meadow celebrated 36 years of re-engaging youth in education. Our programs provide education and support services to students at risk of disconnecting from school or who have already dropped out. All services are delivered in small settings.

Open Meadow is focused on providing a broad-based middle and high school education, preparing students for transition to post-secondary education and career opportunities, and instilling a sense of life-long learning.

Our programs provide intensive support services designed to re-engage young people in their education and assist them in addressing barriers that have previously interfered with school success. Open Meadow also provides employment readiness, youth development, transition services, academic support, and job placement services. Many Open Meadow students become the first in their family to achieve their high school diploma.

Project ESTEEM (Empowering Students Through Educational Employment Mentorships

There are also fun events along the way that people can join in on when their schedule allows. The requirements for being a mentor are an interview, passing a fingerprint background check, and the ability to commit until the beginning June (which is when the program ends).

Michele Taylor 503-488-5176 A career based mentorship program where students work with an adult mentor to gain competency in basic business practices. These include skills such as interviewing, resumes, how to write a thank you note, etc. Open Meadow supplies materials and guidance as a road map so the mentoring pair knows what they are working toward.

4 hours a month commitment (most mentors end up wanting to do more).

There is structured time offered on every other Monday from 2:15 – 4:00.

Topics: Help Wanted | No Comments »